The Tale of a Crazy Girl
by The Otaku Chick
Summary: Inuyasha and the gang meet a girl who is not exactly what one would call normal. She and her other two friends decide to embark on an EPIC journey... CAUTION: If you don't like idiotic humor don't read this!
1. I am soooo not Crazy!

Ok this is going to be a humor Inuyasha fic, with a splash of romance. It's going to have Characters that are based off of my friends. They are me, as Jade bet you guys would've never guessed that! Oh well I don't want to explain every single character; it would take too long. To be perfectly honest I haven't really kept up with Inuyasha lately, I'm just going to assume they're still traveling around looking for the Jewel Shards, ha, that's when it was the most interesting to watch at least… well here it is!

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Inuyasha characters, Jade is the only character that's mine. My friends own their own individual characters.**

**"I'm soooo not Crazy!"**

**Chapter 1**

Jade was sleeping quite peacefully when she suddenly opened her eyes; which were now glowing silver like color. She saw a man in a blue Monk robes, a woman in a demon hunting suit, a two tailed cat demon, a little boy...no it was a girl; it was impossible to tell with that bow in it's hair. Then the two that freaked her out the most was the one with dog-ears or is it cat ears? She really couldn't tell the difference, and the girl in this green VERY short kimono like thing. It didn't even look like a kimono. _Maybe it's a whore outfit of some sorts. Hm who knows? _She looked at the odd groups surroundings, it looked like they were walking in a forest near their village. _Oh no...What if they're coming to attack our village! I must warn everyone! But really, I need to sleep first! _(**Authoress:** Isn't it great how she doesn't even really care about the village? She'd rather just take a snoozer)She closed her eyes, and she was soon dreaming again.

_She was in the forest by her village; she could definitely tell it was their forest due to the two trunked Willow Tree. "Oh no...I'm going to be stuck here until someone wakes me up...poopy, this happened the last time I foresaw something. Stupid comatose..." she heard a grunt by the willow tree. She spun around and fell on her butt. "OWW!" she whined, "Why can't I have normal dreams, and not feel pain!" She casually walked towards the Willow Tree; there laid a man that looked about to be about 18 or 19 years old. She stared at the figure he looked badly injured. He wore black cargo pants with a lot of pockets and he had this black cape thing that was probably supposed to cover him but his entire outfit was torn up. But he still managed to keep half of his face covered with a scarf. He had long green hair, the crown of his head was had a little bit of blood. To add to that he was cut up and bruised from head to toe. She knelt down beside him and almost took off his scarf when suddenly he grabbed for her hand. _

_She at first let out a little yelp, but then said in a calmer voice, "Hey Soldier how ya holding up?"_

_He gave her a weird look then let out a laugh, "Ha! Did you just call me a soldier?" He smiled at her, he had steel gray eyes._

_"Well usually a man who's this badly injured usually was in a battle of some sorts."_

_"Well...I've never been called a soldier before, and it seems funny to me."_

_"Oh so you're not a man protecting this country?" she asked while tilting her head with a slightly curious look on her face._

_"Kind of the opposite," he replied while giving another laugh, it was a bitter laugh._

_"Well then what do you do?"_

_"I kill people," he said casually._

_"Why?"_

_"Because I can,"_

_"Why?"_

_"Because I'm well trained to fight like that."_

_"Why?"_

_He looked annoyed, "Why do you insist on badgering other people about their lives? How would you like it if I kept asking you, 'Oh what do you do for a living?" 'Why?' 'why?' Wouldn't you get annoyed?"_

_Jade shook her head, "Nope, it'd actually be kind of nice for a change, I'm the my Village's Seer...actually the silly village people themselves think I'm the village idiot. Ha, I see things and try to warn them, and they just ignore me, and when the thing I saw comes they feel like morons..." she trailed off._

_"Wow you must get lonely," he said with a look of pity_

_Jade who noticed the pitying look from years experience replied "Oh no! My best friend and I share the same hut! Her name's Nilkanowen..."_

_"What's your name though?" he interrupted her._

_"Jade, nothing special, compared to Nilkanowen."_

_"It's still very nice and unique. You shouldn't be ashamed of it," he said smiling slightly._

_Jade smiled "Oh thank...OH! Wait! You're injured!" her arms started to wave around, "I don't have anything to help you with! I'm so sorry...wait what's your name?"_

_He opened his mouth but then..._

"JADE YOU LAZY ASS GET UP!"

"Hott man?" she looked around hopefully, but she only saw a girl with long light brown hair, and emerald eyes. "Oh it's just you Nil, why did you have to scream?"

"You wouldn't wake up! You slapped me when I tried to nudge you awake!"

"Oh I'm sorry, I had an odd dream."

"I'm sorry."

"No no it wasn't bad... it was actually kind of nice, it was just a little freaky."

Nil stared at her, "Hn, well whatever. We have chores to do..." she said while looking outside. It was almost the afternoon now Nil shook her head. Jade always slept in whenever she had a vision.

"OH WAIT!" Jade jumped up "STOP! STOP EVERYTHING YOUR DOING! DEMONS ARE COMING TO THE VILLAGE!" she was about to run out of the hut before Nilkanowen tripped her.

"AUGH! YOU'VE TRIPPED ME! WHY? WHY? I HAVE TO..."

"Make a fool of yourself again; they'll never believe you. You know this I know this. Just let the demons come when they come." Nilkanowen said in a calm voice.

Jade glared. "I have to though; they need to be prepared!" she ran again towards the village.

Nilkanowen just sighed. "I better follow the nitwit; she's going to do something she'll regret."

Jade jumped onto a random box of crates. "People of this small and insignificant village!"

"Oh no there goes crazy Jade again," one man grumbled.

"Our village is going to be attacked by demons! We need to get prepared! No matter how weak and powerless we are!"

"Ya know that's not boosting our spirits at all by saying we're powerless..."

"AND WEAK!" Jade added. "We need to at least make bombs..."

"What are bombs?"

"AND WE'RE A STUPID VILLAGE!" Jade concluded while giving a peace sign.

Nilkanowen strolled up and said casually, "Jade, bombs haven't been invented yet, or we haven't discovered it yet."

"Oh we haven't? Oh well...never mind then." Jade said in a slightly crestfallen face.

Nilkanowen patted her back, "Maybe you saw too deep into the future."

"Or maybe the stupid authoress forgot that Bombs were not common at this time."

"Yeah that too."

"FUCK YOU JADE! WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!?!" I yelled down at her ominously.

"PLENTY MORE THAN YOU! YOU STUPID PIECE OF CRAP!!!"

"DON'T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE…"

Nilkanowen sighed, "Can we please get back to this joke of a story?"

"You're right as always Nil," Jade said and continued with her rant, "Anyways...ONE HAS DOG OR CAT EARS I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHICH IS WHICH! THEN THERE'S WHORE LIKE ONE...AND THEN THERE'S THIS IT CHILD! AND A MONK! AND A DEMON HUNTER..."

"Why would a demon hunter be traveling with a demons?" a random man asked.

"Because, she's being controlled." Jade said simply.

"You're crazy," he said in a concluded.

"You're a poopy face." Jade concluded as well in a matter-of-fact voice.

"Yeah she's crazy."

"I am soooo not crazy!" she said while giggling insanely.

"I say we lock her up, and make sure she doesn't have anymore of those crazy 'dreams.' It would be the best for her and the village!" Another man cried out.

"WHAT!" Jade demanded. "You can't lock me up! I can help fight! Aside from Nil and I we're basically the only fighters here. Hm, once again an insignificant village."

Five men grabbed her, and dragged her towards the village's "dungeon". Then they threw her into it. They locked it up and walked away laughing, like it was some sort of joke. Jade ran into the door, trying to break it down. She did this a number of times until she could no longer feel her whole left side of the body. Sooo being the idiot that she was tried her other side, and started ramming with her right.

"You're just making yourself weaker by doing that; what if the demons attacked and you were all beat up by your own stupidity?" Nilkanowen said casually while leaning on the other side of the door.

"If you're just going to criticize me, shut up!" She snapped while holding back tears.

"Oh please, it's not like I can do anything about it."

"I know...I hate it when you're sensible."

"So you hate me all the time? That kinda hurts Jade after all we've been through."

"No no...You know what I mean."

"I know I just like making you think, watching the smoke come out of your head is fun."

Jade laughed in spite of the situation, "Why are we still here?"

"Where?"

"This...this village. It's a hell hole of regular mediocre people, who are afraid of different people..."

"I know I know...listen due to your endless prattering and slamming to the door you've wasted the entire day, you should get some sleep."

"So should you!"

"Right," with that Nilkanowen closed her eyes and drifted to sleep.

Jade soon followed her. She was in the forest again and dear readers guess who she saw?

_"Dream Boy!" Jade said cheerfully, "After a crappy day, I sure could use some cheering up."_

_He laughed again, "Dream boy? Shouldn't you be Dream girl because I'm actually real."_

_Jade looked confused, "Nooo I'm the real one, you're not real...are you?"_

_"Yeah I'm real, you are too? I thought when I saw you...never mind."_

_Jade seemed to have realized something, "Then...are you really by that willow tree?"_

_"Yeah,"_

_"OH! I'll be right there bye!" she kissed his forehead; thus making his eyes widen._

**The vision ended**.

"NIL!" Jade screamed.

"Hm?" Nilkanowen asked tiredly.

"I have to get out of here..."

"Thank you Captain Obvious..."

"No, you don't get it!" she snapped while punching the ground. "Hey this is dirt..."

"No Jade, I won't let you make mud pies again."

"No no! As tempting as that sounds that's not what I meant!" she said excitedly. "I can dig a tunnel!" she grabbed her dinner plate and started digging.

"Hm well for some reason you seem desperate sooo..." she stood up and left.

Ten minutes later she came back holding the key. She unlocked the door, and opened it grinning.

"How'd you get that?" Jade asked in slight awe.

"I played a little mind game," Nilkanowen said grinning. Jade smiled knowing what she meant.

"Come on, we gotta make sure Dream Boy is ok!" she said in a slightly urgent voice.

"Dream Boy?" Nilkanowen said in a confused voice, but Jade was already running towards the forest.

When she finally reached the Willow tree, he was lying there, looking worse than ever. He looked up alarmed. Then he softened, "Hey Jade, come to visit me in my dreams again? Who's your friend?" he asked gesturing towards Nilkanowen.

"This is Nil! I told you about her remember? Oh and this isn't a dream this time. I'm actually here."

"What. The. Fuck." was all Nilkanowen could muster up to say. "How does he know you Jade!?"

"I'll explain later; right now we have to take him back to the hut," she touched his face, he flinched at the touch. "Now, now, do you think I'll hurt you?"

He smiled slightly, "No, I guess not."

"Ok then, he's running a slight fever..."

"Okay, but let's take him to the hut so we can start a fire," Nilkanowen said regaining her composure.

"Can you walk?" Jade asked him.

"A little..." she draped one of his arms over her shoulder.

"Put some of your weight on me,"

He did so. They started limping, while Nilkanowen ran ahead to start a fire and get water for him.

"Well it's good to finally meet ya!" Jade said, sounding far too cheerful for a normal person.

He smiled and said, "The feeling is mutual,"

"Soo...what is you name?"

"Dart," he said.

"Oooh that's a kick ass name!"

He smiled at her, "Thanks."

**Nyhaha! I've finished! Once again all of these characters are based off of real people. Nilkanowen is based off of my best friend in the entire world! Dart is based off of a guy friend of mine. They both are brilliant writers. There will be two more characters coming in later. The funny thing is we do act like that on a daily basis, except the whole seeing the future thing...as far as you know! Well Review please and thank you!** **And if you're going to flame me don't bother, I don't care! ^_^**


	2. The Crazy Girl Was Right!

**A/N: Well, I posted this one pretty early. Enjoy!**

The Crazy Girl was right!

Chapter 2

Once they had finally gotten him into there itty-bitty shack of a home. Jade started running around screaming, "HE NEEDS MEDICAL ATTENTION!" she kept repeating this until Nilkanowen stuck her foot out which thus made Jade fall straight on her face and made a loud SPLAT noise. Dart stared at her tiredly, he was vaguely concerned that she may have seriously been injured. Suddenly she stood up, her nose was bleeding but she didn't seem to notice. "Dart-Sama! Are you ok! Did Nilkanowen do dirty, dirty things to you while I was in a coma!"

Nilkanowen glared at her, "No you idiot, you were only passed out for like two minutes…you're bleeding…"

"We need to help Dart-Sama he l-"

"Don't," Dart said in a soft tired voice, "Don't call me 'sama' I am not a Lord."

Jade blinked confused, "I thought-"

"No you didn't," Nilkanowen said in a firm voice.

"I didn't?"

"No you don't think at all,"

"Oh,"

"Now shouldn't we help him?"

"Oh my Gods, yes! Dart-sama! What do you need!?"

"Uh we-" Dart started.

"Ok! Your wish is my command!" She suddenly started swirling around him until she was like a blurry ball surrounding him. When she stopped he was sparkly looking, and didn't have a scratch on him.

Dart blinked, "H-how did you do that?"

"I made an agreement with the devil where I must give myself to him whenever he wants it," Jade said in a regular voice like it was no big deal.

Dart and Nil stared at her like she was on Crack…no wait this is Japan…opium.

"Ha just kidding! I only have to give him a back massage every few weeks!"

"Oh well as long as you won't get yourself too deep into it like the whole 'Emperor' incident," Nilkanowen said.

Dart looked at both of them, "'Emperor' Incident?"

Jade chuckled, "he so wants me."

"Ah ok, well that changes everything…no wait no it doesn't! Are you some kind of whore!?" Dart asked suddenly horrified.

Jade stared at him, "No just a terrible tease!"

"S-so...what did you do with him?"

Jade grinned, "Gave him a back massage...but then he wanted more but I said no!...Are you actually believing me!"

Dart blinked confused.

"Ahahahaha! I would never do anything with him, I've never even meet the guy!"

"Then why did she..." he pointed to Nilkanowen.

"We planned it," Jade explained, "She told me inside my head. Nil can mess with people's minds! Freaky huh?" Jade said.

Dart stared at both of the girls, Jade was smiling stupidly, while Nil was smiling slightly looking amused. "Um well...uh since it was just a joke I guess it is kinda funny..." he forced a chuckle out. _These girls are crazy..._he thought to himself.

"Well I'm not as bad as Jade, I have some sanity in me, while Jade is just full blown mental..." Nil said to him calmly.

"Aaah! You were thinking we were crazy! How unkind of you!" Jade said in her attempt to sound like she was scolding him.

"I'm sorry...?" he replied in an uncertain voice.

"Ah! Ok I forgive you!" she said happily while giving him a hug.

His eyes widened in shock, while his face turned a light shade of red. He awkwardly patted her on the back.

"It's settled! You're staying with us!" Jade announced.

"Oh ah...um...no that won't work, I can't stay in one place for so long..." he said. He didn't want to stay in this village while men were after him. It was too dangerous for the village.

"Don't worry, this village can take care of itself; besides nobody would ever suspect you here," Nilkanowen said.

"I-I guess I can stay here for awhile..." he said hesitantly.

"Yay! The genius of Nil made him stay!" Jade cried out happily while hugging Nil who flinched at being touched.

"Jade, you know I don't like being touched, especially getting hugged," she said with a disgusted look on her face.

"I'm just so happy you read his mind and reassured him it would be okay for him to stay. So then I wouldn't have to force him by chaining him to our little wall and occasionally feeding him some cheese and when he tried to escape we'd put hot wax on his back, and then the second time he'd try I'd seduce him into staying and we all know no one can resist being seduced by the almighty Jade," Jade said in a happy overly cheerful voice.

Dart stared at her for a minute not sure what to say then he found his voice even if it was slightly higher than what was normal for him, "M-maybe I should go..."

"NO! DART-SAMA MUST STAY!" Jade screamed while she towered over him with an evil glint in her eye.

"Uh ummm ok..."

Meanwhile Back at the Ranch…

"Inuyasha! We need to find some sort a resting spot, we're all exhausted from that last fight with that water demon we're all drained out!" Kagome said in a miffed voice.

"Oh jeez I'm pretty sure we can hold up for a little while longer," Inuyasha snapped back.

"No Inuyasha! Why do you always have to be so stubborn? Honestly I don't see what Kagome sees in you," Shippo said.

"Grrr..." Inuyasha growled, while he started punching Shippo.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Shippo cried while a bunch of welts started to form on his girly little head.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome snapped.

"What! Why do you always say my name but never say anything after that, you just yell INUYASHA! That is soooo friggin annoying. So from now on when you yell my name say something after it! Do you understand me woman!" Inuyasha rambled. Everyone stared, "Wait...I didn't mean to say that...Authoress! Did you make me say that!?" He yelled at the air.

"Muhahaha, somebody had to say it..." I said evilly.

"Well don't make me out of character! Some rabid fans may scream at you for making Kagome look bad!"

"I'm sure they will live, for if they don't why the hell are they reading this fan fic? Besides, I like Kagome but sometimes her whole yelling Inuyasha and nothing after it can be very annoying... plus the whole fact that she's an easy target to mock."

"Ummm...Authoress, Inuyasha... we need to get back to the story..." Miroku said with about 30 sweat drops. Sango had some too, and lil Shippo was still whimpering about his welts. While Kagome looks angry because I was being honest about her annoying ways, hah she'll live.

"Ah! Monk! You may be one of my favorite characters in this farce of an anime but nobody interrupts me during an argument! You're mouth is being removed for the rest of the chapter!" I said in my God like voice. Muhaha I am so evil.

"Wha-!" Miroku tried but oh wait his mouth is gone! Oooh well!

Inuyasha looked slightly confused, so I decided to help the dense idiot, "Listen Inuyasha, you lost this argument now get back into the story I'm writing and I'll go back to making it up."

"Um, ok then?" he said confused.

"Grrrrrrrrrr..." Kagome said angrily over my honest ways.

Hah silly school girl.

"I think there's a village up ahead!" Sango said while squinting towards the village. To where they were standing it was just a tiny little speck, there was some smoke rising from little fires since it was around luncheon.

"Oh well we should go then! We could restock our provisions," Kagome said excitedly.

"Pah! That's what hunting is for; we don't need to-" Inuyasha started.

"INUYASHA YOU IDIOT! YOU'LL RUIN MY WHOLE PLOT LINE IF YOU DON'T GO TO THE STUPID VILLAGE! ARE YOU THAT DENSE! YOU WILL GO TO THE VILLAGE AND RESTOCK YOUR PROVISIONS!" Inuyasha gaped at the sky totally confused by my yelling; typical he's such an idiot, "NOW!"

After my NOW, the temporary mute Miroku and Sango were on Kirara while Shippo was on Miroku. Kagome jumped onto Inuyasha's back. They flew to the place...well Sango, Miroku, Kirara, and Shippo did, but Kagome and Inuyasha ran. When they reached it they could see the village people having a normal day.

They started to explore the area when they heard to old ugly women who had no lives except gossip were whispering, "Did you hear about that Jade girl escaped prison? They say she's in hiding, it's a pity they didn't burn her right away. I for one don't want a crazy girl running around influencing our children," the first generic ugly woman said.

"Oh I agree completely, and that Nilkanowen friend of hers, she's just creepy. They are always causing trouble," the second generic ugly woman said.

At that moment Jade, Nil, and Dart came out, and Jade could be heard saying in a loud happy voice, "Don't worry Dart! Everyone here is nice, they'll treat you just like family!"

In less than a second, pitchforks and ugly people hold up the pitchforks were surrounding them, "What were you saying?" Dart asked her dryly.

"Ah well um...I guess they are still angry about my premonition...of a sort..." she stopped, when she saw Inuyasha and co. "OH MY GOD! IT'S THEM! THE ONE'S I SAW IN MY DREAM! HA I WAS RIGHT! THE CRAZY GIRL WAS RIGHT! TAKE THAT!" she easily jumped past the generic ugly people and their pitchforks and landed gracefully...ok she tripped and fell when she _tried_ to land gracefully in front of the Inuyasha and co. "What are you doing in this village?" she asked casually.

"What is your name," Inuyasha asked.

"Jade, what about you kitty?"

Inuyasha got a vein on his forehead and glared at her, "I'm a dog demon...not a cat demon..."

"Really? Those look more like kitty ears to me... dog ears are usually bigger and floppy...so what's your name?"

"Inuyasha...I don't see how that matters since you're the crazy chick those women were talking about," Inuyasha snapped snidely.

"Oh I'm only crazy because I tried to warn them about you. I had a dream that you were coming here," she looked at Kagome, "Are you his whore? No wait you may be another dog demon...his…bitch?"

"WHAT! NO! I-I've never done anything like that!" Kagome said while blushing furiously.

"Then what's with the clothes?" she asked calmly.

"It's my school uniform!"

"Really what School do you go to?" Nil came out of nowhere and asked her. "Ooooh you're from the future." Nil said nodding.

"How did yo-"

"I can read minds." Nil said simply.

The two generic ugly women started whispering again. Jade saw it, she jumped in front of them, and "Hello generic ugly women with only a vague part of this story. How are you? How are your children?" she asked smiling wickedly.

Both the women cowered before her, "Th-they're fine..." they said in unison.

"Ah well that's good...you know..." she got extremely close to there faces, "Gossiping is bad, and the devil will eat your souls if he ever catches you." They both stared at her petrified, "Have a loverly day generic ugly women," she said.

"That's just rude!" Generic ugly woman said.

Jade stared, "What is?"

"Calling us generic and ugly."

"But… it's true…"

The women both let out little harrumphs and ughs! They didn't say anything else because they are generic, and ugly.

Jade smiled, "See I am right!" She then happily and skipped off to where Dart was.

"Hey," he said quietly his face buried in his scarf. The men with the pitchforks backed off.

"Who's that?" Sango asked gesturing towards Dart.

"Him? Oh he's my lover," Jade said while wrapping her arms around Dart.

"N-no I'm not!" Dart exclaimed while blushing furiously underneath his scarf.

"Mmmmm..." Jade said happily while nuzzling into his chest, "You smell nice..."

"S-stop!" Dart said totally freaked while pushing her away.

Jade looked totally and utterly hurt, "So, we're through. After all we've been through! You just dump me! For who? The School whore!" she pointed to Kagome.

"I AM NOT A WHORE!" Kagome snapped.

Dart blinked utterly confused, "I'm sorry I didn't mean..."

"No I don't want to hear that same thing over and over!" Jade said while sniffling.

"Listen I didn't mean to hurt you... wait! We were never going out!"

Jade blinked, "We weren't?"

"No,"

"Oh! Okay!" Jade said happily, "Then I forgive you for shoving me away...but you really do smell nice..."

"Yeah whatever," Dart said still blushing behind his scarf. (I would like to mention they haven't really seen his whole face yet).

"So are you really crazy?" Inuyasha asked rudely.

"NO! Well sorta...but not what they thought, they thought I was hallucinating."

"Oooh so you had a vision that we would come here?" Kagome asked.

Jade stared at her, while thinking, _what a bimbo._ Nilkanowen snorted, "Didn't I already say I saw you in my dream? I could've sworn I did. Hm well yes, yes I did have a vision."

Kagome turned to the now large crowd surrounding them, (probably the whole village such nosy people with no lives...) "Well obviously she isn't crazy, and can you guys forgive her?"

"FORGIVE ME! THEY SHOULD BE THE ONES APOLOGIZING! NOT M-" Nil muffled her voice before she got too hysterical.

One of the gossip women looked at Jade with some slight resentment but still nodded her head, and for some reason so did the rest of the village. Do you ever notice when one-person nods there head so does the rest? It's like some sort of mob mentality or something.

"YAY!" Jade said happily! She jumped up and down gleefully with little pom poms in her hand while dancing around. Everyone looked at her with about fifty sweat drops.

"I'm going to have an interesting time here aren't I?" Dart asked Nil.

"You'll never be bored," Nil reassured the boy.

**Ah well this the end of chapter 2, now once again I didn't mean to make Kagome look so bad but she's so easy to set up and make fun of. I really do like her, she's so pure...what a fool! HAHAHAHAHA! I noticed when I read this over the dialogue goes by pretty fast. Maybe it's because I wrote it and I know what it's going to say, or maybe it's because it's from the POV of an extremely cracked out girl I dunno which it is. –ahem**- **Now then please Review...if you like your toes where they are.**


	3. The Fine Line Between Dart and Kite

**A/N** Ok I know no one reads this fic but ya know what? When I'm bored this is quite fun to write, I love to have the power to be able to steal a Monk's mouth! Ok if anyone actually does read this, for the love of God Review…. I feel sooo unloved. Not really, but I'd like it if you did.

**The fine line between Dart & Kite **

**Chapter 3**

Kagome, Inuyasha, Miroku (who now had his mouth back), Shippo, Jade, Nil, and Dart were all in the tiny little hut, so naturally it was crammed. Kirara was actually outside playing with some of the local children, they think she's cute in her little form. Jade looked at her surrounding's, they were all extremely crammed and she was almost on Dart's lap. "Well as much as I love sitting on Dart's lap, I say we take our little circus outside…"

Nilkanowen nodded and was the first to leave, the rest followed. Jade slapped her hand to her forehead and announced, "I have yet to feed the Dart-Sama!"

Dart blushed behind his scarf, "You don't need to bother, I'm not that hungry," he said simply. It was a lie, but he was polite and didn't want to intrude on them.

Jade looked at Nilkanowen, "Well?"

Nilkanowen nodded, "Oh he's lying, he's actually starving."

Jade nodded, "I thought as much, seeing that he was injured and all, he must be incredibly weak," she said having a serious moment because she was panicking. _Where the hells am I going to get food! I can't afford enough for all of them but I don't want to be rude…_ Jade blushed "Um err… hahaha will you guys hold on for one sec!" she turned and was about to run to the emergency storage. Nilkanowen grabbed her by the hair and made her fall on her butt. "Augh! Nilkanowen! What the hell!"

"Don't steal from the emergency storage… this really isn't an emergency," she said calmly while still clutching onto her Jade's hair.

"But Niiilll! I don't want to starve my poor guests! I feel so poor…" she said sadly.

"Jade, sweety, we _are_ poor," Nilkanowen tried to say to her in a gentle voice while slowly letting go of her hair.

Well Kagome heard what they said because she's nosy like that and said, "Don't worry! I have some food with me!"

Inuyasha glared at her, "Kagome that's our food… we need it,"

Kagome glared at him, "Don't be so selfish Inuyasha! Besides I can always bring back more ramen next time I go back home."

Inuyasha sighed and grumbled about how stupid and annoyingly kindhearted she was. Kagome heard him and snapped, "Sit!" Thus making the doggy fall flat on his fast.

"Ergh!" he said in a muffled voice.

Jade looked at Kagome and smiled "Would you really? Thank you sooo much! I'm indebted to you!" she said while bowing.

Nilkanowen looked at Kagome and whispered, "You better take advantage of that, Jade is never indebted to anyone, she's obviously really grateful."

Kagome smiled and said, "It's no big deal really!"

Jade sighed and said, "Well let's get it set up!"

Within a half an hour there were a crap load of cups of Ramen everywhere. Jade started to pass it out to everyone, and they all started to eat happily. Kagome, Inuyasha, Shippo, Sango, and Miroku were used to the wonderfulness of Ramen, but Jade, Dart, and Nilkanowen were not. So I will show you each of their reactions:

Nilkanowen: "Wow this stuff… you called it Ramen Kagome? It's quite delicious, Chicken flavored? Are there other flavors? May I try them when given the chance?" she said all this with eyes wide and eating Ramen after every sentence. Kagome smiled cheerfully and said, "Sure anytime."

Jade: -Is making loud noises when she is eating while saying- "Oh my Gods! This stuff is the sooo good."

Dart: He had already finished eating his and was eyeing Inuyasha's with a hungry eye, who protectingly hid it from Darts eyes who snapped, "Hey! I was injured and need nourishment!"

Inuyasha glared at him, "So what! This is my food!"

Dart rolled his eyes, "I wasn't seriously going to take it! It's called a joke!"

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, "Yeah sure…"

"Well I wasn't!"

"Ok… it's not like I can trust assassin's anyways…"

Dart's face heated up while he said, "Who said I was an assassin!"

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, "Come on, you are totally obvious! Look at the clothes you're wearing!"

Dart glared at him his eyes blazing with a sudden look of pure venom, "How 'bout I show you what I do to some of the people I kill…"

All through their lovely conversation the women and Miroku (Shippo went to sleep) were watching them with wide eyes.

"Dart-sama…?" Jade looked at him confused, she had never really seen him talk so much, and act so harsh before, and there was something different about his eyes…

Dart blushed and said, "Never mind… It's a stupid reason to kill someone anyways…" he stood up and walked away.

Kagome glared at Inuyasha, "See? Now look what you've done!"

"Well excuse me!" Inuyasha said through clenched teeth. He stood up and went the opposite direction that Dart went.

Miroku sighed and said, "Hey Nilkanowen, maybe you should check on Shippo, I'm sure he's asleep but it wouldn't hurt to make sure."

Nilkanowen looked confused for a moment then read his mind, "You lech…" she muttered, but still stood up and walked away.

Miroku looked at Jade and Kagome and said with closed eyes and in a matter of fact voice, "You do realize you must go after your men right? They are very insecure right now and need attention from the ones that they trust the most. Kagome is the only one who can actually get through to our ever the stubborn Inuyasha, and Jade it's pretty obvious that Dart has a soft spot for you."

Kagome eyed him suspiciously, "Miroku why do care so much about them all of a sudden?"

Miroku smiled and said with a sigh, "Is it wrong for me to care about someone? I am after all a caring and kind Monk." (**A/N: **PAH! Not even I believe that B.S. and I friggin wrote it! **Nilkanowen: **Shut the hell up you idiot… **Jade: **Make me!** Nil: **-Sits on her face-** Jade: **OOMF!)

Kagome nodded, "Yes, but for once you are right I will go check on him." She stood up and walked off.

Jade looked at Miroku, "So what you're saying is I should check on Dart?"

Miroku nodded.

Jade smiled, "Ah ok then." With that she lay down and looked up at the stars.

Miroku blinked, "Jade-dono… aren't you going to see how he's doing?"

Jade looked confused and looked as if she realized something, "Oooh you want me to check on him now…."

"Yes…"

"At this very hour?"

"Of course,"

"This very minute?"

"Yeah… when else?"

"This very second?"

"JADE!" Miroku snapped with a vein on his forehead.

"Right I'm off!" she said happily and ran off.

Miroku smiled and looked at Sango, "Finally we're alone…"

Sango looked disgusted, "So Nilkanowen was right! You really are a lech!" she snapped while blushing.

"Is it such a bad thing that I love the woman I'm going to marry someday?" Miroku asked.

Sango blushed again while muttering, "No…"

Miroku smiled and said, "Well then…" he then felt the roundness of her oshiri aka butt.

Sango's face turned beet red while she yelled, "LECH!"

There stood Miroku, all alone with a nice slap print on his face. Silly Monk.

Meanwhile…

"Inuyasha?" Kagome's voice said while looking for him, she finally saw him up in a tree and said, "Ah there you are! So what just because Dart was playing a little joke and pretended to steal your ramen you hate him now?"

Inuyasha looked at her and said, "Not so much as hate, just annoyed. I mean he wanted my Ramen…" he said in a defensive voice.

"He said he didn't want it remember it was only a joke, besides he was injured, he needed food."

"Don't tell me you're sticking up for the killer," Inuyasha snapped angrily.

Kagome sighed while saying, "No, I'm just stating the facts! Honestly Inuyasha… the world doesn't revolve around Ramen you know…"

"Says you…" Inuyasha muttered.

Kagome just looked at him with utter confusion on her face until she busted out into laughter.

"Eh? What's so funny to you?" Inuyasha asked.

"You… I never thought you'd actually say the world revolved around Ramen…" she started to laugh again.

Inuyasha's face heated up while he blushed from embarrassment, "I like the stuff that's all, I didn't really mean anything when I said that…"

Kagome laughed again and smiled at Inuyasha, "It's ok… hey let's get back to the camp alright?"

Inuyasha nodded and jumped down from the tree, and looked at her, "You coming?"

She smiled and nodded; they started to walk back to camp.

Another meanwhile…

"Daaaart? Where are youuu?" Jade said in a singsong voice.

Dart looked at her from where he was hiding, and then looked down, he didn't want to talk to anyone right now, why couldn't she just go away?

Jade sighed and said, "Listen Dart-sama I'm not going to leave until we talk, I can be incredibly stubborn, and I know you're here cuz I can smell you," Dart's eyes widened, "Yeah I can smell you… you always smell clean, it's a nice smell don't worry." She said with a smile, she waited a minute hoping he would come out but he didn't so she continued, "That's kinda why I like to hug you, you smell so clean, all of the guys in this village smelt like they just died or something you know? It's really refreshing to meet a guy who knows how to bathe." She sat down while Dart smiled to himself, "Anyways, I hope you don't think I'm mad at you just because you threatened to kill Inuyasha, really I don't care… it just surprised me that you could sound so mean that's all don't worry, I don't care if you do, just don't make a mess out of it ok?"

Dart let out a sigh and walked out to where Jade was sitting, he sat down next to her and said, "I don't want to kill him ok?"

Jade looked at him with a smile, "How sad."

Dart stared at her, "Uh… I'm sorry?"

Jade laughed and said, "All is forgiven, why did you get so angry like that though?"

Dart looked down, "I usually don't get angry like that, it's just I haven't had food in awhile and well I kinda just lost control…" his voice trailed off.

Jade nodded, "So you have a split personality?"

Dart looked at her shocked and slightly nervous, "How did you know?"

She smiled like she was in a dream, "I guessed."

Dart looked at her, "How clever of you…-.-"

Jade smiled and hugged him, "I know I am!" Dart blushed again and covered his face in his scarf like thing even more. Jade blinked, "How come I never got to see your full face yet? You always have it behind that scarf…" she reached out to rip the scarf off but Dart gently pushed her away.

"None of that now," he said in a stern voice.

"Aw why not Dart-sama! I wanna see!" Jade said giving him her best puppy face.

He stared at her, "Puppy faces have no affect on me."

Jade let out an exasperated sigh and said "Fiiine… so what's your other 'personality' named?"

Dart looked at her, "Why do you care?"

"Because I am an overly curious girl who has a knack for getting what she wants…"

"You didn't get to see behind my scarf."

Jade smiled slyly; "All in good time Dart-sama, all in good time…"

Dart blinked, "Umm should I be afraid…?"

Jade shook her head, "No, now what's his name?"

"Kite…" he muttered.

"Ooh so you did give him a name."

"I had to, it felt too odd having a whole other person inside of me with no name."

Jade nodded as if she understood, but really she didn't, "Well Dart-sama, we best be getting back home right?"

Dart shook his head, "I don't have a home."

Jade gasped, "What the hell do you think my house is! A shack! Don't answer that," she warned.

He smiled in spite of himself, "Alright, let's go to _your_ home."

"My home is your home," she said happily while she stood up and started to walk back, Dart followed. "Oh yeah I almost forgot…" she pulled out another cup of Ramen out of nowhere, "Ta-daah! Here you can have it," she said while giving it to him.

He shook his head, "No you can have it, and I was only kidding about wanting more."

Jade glared at him and pulled out chopsticks and shoved some of the ramen into his mouth. He gagged since she practically was choking him. She continued to do that until they reached the shack… I mean house… Nilkanowen walked up to see Dart's face was turning purple and his mouth was full of Ramen. She grinned, "I see Dart did want Ramen after all."

"Glahgal," Dart said.

Jade smiled, "He does love his Ramen! "

She attempted to feed him again but he grabbed her arm and then said after he finished eating or spitting out the Ramen, "That… is enough,"

Jade looked as if she had been made fun of by the playground bully, "Do… you hate me?" she said her eyes getting watery.

Dart recognizing the tears said, "No no no! It's just that I don't want-"

"Yoooooooooou Haaatte meeeee!" she cried out while sobbing.

Dart started to freak out, Nilkanowen already knowing this trick just rolled her eyes and went to see if everyone else was sleeping alright. "I don't hate you… for the love of the Gods please stop crying…"

Jade continued to cry, although on the inside she was thinking, _Haha! Sucker!_ Poor Dart.

**A/N:** Ok there I'm done, is everyone happy now? I am, cuz I finished the chapter! Wooo, review please! If not it will make me a sad … I mean come on! I taught you a knew Japanese word! OSHIRI! AKA BUTT! I mean come on, I taught you how to say Butt in Japanese… **Nilkanowen: **Not everyone is as immature as you Jade… **Jade: **If they're reading this kind of fanfic I'm sure they can appreciate the word oshiri… **Nil: **Hm whatever… -**eats more ramen**-


	4. Some people aren't morning people

**A/N:** Aaaah! I got another review!!! Haha thanks for reviewing you kind hearted person! I am forever in your debt!! I'd say your name, but for privacy's sake I won't! **Nil:** They could just check the reviews… only one other person reviewed anyways. **Jade:** Well if you aren't a fuddy duddy! Hey I have an idea! Even if you did review once! Review after every chapter! We could have like a little review club! ^_^ Anyone who reviews after every chapter is in it! Well that's all I must say so… on with the story!

The wonders of Chocolate!

**Chapter 4**

Jade woke with an overly exaggerated yawn. It looked as if the sun had just started to show over the horizon. Jade smiled, this was the best time to do some training, she promptly stood up and stretched a little then started to practice kick movements and all that other training stuff. She looked at the little group, and let out a smug grin and yelled towards the village, "SEE PEOPLE DO LIKE ME!"

Miroku moved in his sleep groaning slightly, "I wonder what's wrong with the Monk…" Jade thought to herself out loud. She happily skipped over to wear Miroku was and plopped on the ground next to him. "Hmmm…. This ground is kind of squishy I wonder why…" She felt a sharp pinch on her thigh and Sango's face appeared under the blanked she was sitting on.

"Get. Off. Of. Me. You. Fucking. COW!!!!" Sango said in an irritable and slightly loud voice.

Jade slowly turned her head to where Sango's face had appeared under the blanket, she let out a loud scream, "OH MY GOD A TALKING DECAPITATADED HEAD!!!!"

Kagome jumped up and said, "Hugm merg?!"

Jade let out another scream, "OH MY GOD! KAGOME IS SPEAKING SOME SAVAGE TONGUE!"

Inuyasha's eyes snapped open and he calmly stood up and said, "Who the fuck is screaming like a friggin banshee?!"

Jade looked utterly shocked, "OH MY GOD INUYASHA GREW CAT EARS!"

Inuyasha twitched, "They're dog ears you dip shit!"

Shippou woke up looking grumpy, "Who is the idiot screaming?"

Jade screamed, "OH MY GOD… Shippo real quick question are you a girl or a boy?"

Shippo glared at her, "I'm a boy!"

Jade stared at him for a moment, "You sure?"

"Of course!" he snapped.

Jade nodded "Ok… OH MY GOD IT'S A CROSS DRESSING FOX DEMON!"

Shippou lost it then, "I AM NOT A CROSS DRESSER YOU MORON!!!"

Jade looked at him with a smirk, "Then what's with the bow?"

Shippo blushed and said something about having to use the bathroom.

Jade let out another scream, "HE KNOWS HOW TO USE A BATHROOM?! I THOUGHT HE WAS LIKE STILL IN DIAPERS!!"

Nil looked up irritated, "What the fuck is wrong with you Jade? We're trying to sleep."

"OH MY GOD NIL IS BEING HERSELF!! WHATEV-"

"SHUT UP!" they all said in unison.

"WHY WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?!?!"

"YOU WERE BORN!" they snapped.

"YOU ALL NEE-" suddenly a hand clamped over her mouth.

"Be. Quiet." Dart said his eyes dark and said in a calm voice, "You talking so loudly is giving me a headache."

Jade smiled, "Sorry Dart-sama! I'll be quiet now! ^_^" with that being said she wandered off.

Inuyasha looked at Dart with awe, "How'd you do that?"

He shrugged; he plopped back onto his blanket and fell back asleep.

Unfortunately no one else could go back to sleep. They started to get breakfast around. Jade came back humming but then saw Dart sleeping and instantly stopped. Everyone chattered amongst himself or herself discussing this or that. Jade looked at them appalled then whispered, "Be quiet! Dart-sama is trying to sleep, have some consideration."

When she turned Inuyasha grabbed a frying pan and attempted to hit her upside the head with it but Kagome stopped him. Jade looked at Dart fondly then covered him with a blanket more so he was still warm. She turned back to everyone else her brown eyes wandering from everyone then they landed on Kagome who was munching on a Chocolate bar. Jade crawled towards Kagome and looked at the bar curiously then whispered, "Are you eating poop?"

Kagome looked offended for a moment then looked at the bar and laughed, "No no, this is chocolate. It's really good, want to try some?"

Jade looked warily at the bar but then nodded. She took a little nibble of the edge then heard the song, by Etta James could be heard: "Aaat laast…. My Looove has come along, my lonely days are overrr…and life is like a song…" well I'm sure you know the rest. Jade looked at Kagome with round puppy eyes, "Do you have anymore of this chocolate?"

Kagome laughed and nodded, "Here have a bar of it. I'm glad you like it…" Kagome gave her a bar, "Don't eat it too fast, try to savor it, it tastes even better."

Jade nodded and as if by instinct took the wrapper off (**A/N: **Shocking I know, Jade actually knew not to eat the wrapper **Jade: **Fuck you Authoress…) and took a bite. Her eyes widened with sudden pleasure. "Thank you… you Goddess of delicacy's…."

Kagome gave her a weird look, "Yeah sure… no problem, do you think Nil would like one as well?"

Jade nodded her head vigorously, "Don't give any to the village people, they suck." She said in a simple voice.

Kagome nodded as if she understood on what she meant, "Yeah they did seem a little cold towards us. I wondered why…"

"'Cuz they're evil." Jade said while nodding solemnly.

Kagome looked at her thoughtfully, "You don't like it here do you?"

Jade shook her head, "At first they pitied me… but now they treat me like a freak… I mean I know I am one, but not the kind they treat me like, I just want to slap them sometimes," her voice sounded resentful.

Kagome just nodded, then her eyes widened as if she had just gotten an idea, "Hey! Why don't you come with us? I don't think the others will mind if you, Nilkanowen, and Dart traveled with us."

Jade grinned, "I dunno… will you have more of this… chocolate?"

Kagome grinned, "Tons."

Jade smiled, "Ok we'll go with you! I better tell Nil, give me another bar of the God's Nectar… to help convince her."

Kagome nodded and gave her another one. Jade stood up and went over to Nil telling her what she had just agreed to while giving Nil the chocolate.

Nil's eyes widened, "Well… if they're going to have this stuff with them then why not?"

Jade grinned, "I know! Plus we get to leave this joke of a home!"

Meanwhile Kagome had a rougher time convincing Inuyasha, she finally screamed 'SIT' so many times he finally whimpered "Fine…"

Jade smiled serenely as she finished the last bit of her chocolate. She happily looked around at everyone. Sango the Brave, Kagome the kind, Inuyasha the cocky, Shippo the transvestite, Miroku the Lech, Nilkanowen the wise, Kirara the awesome, Dart the… _Hey! He's still asleep!_ Jade stood up and started to gently shake him, "Dart-samaaa, wake uuup, you gotta wake up. We're leaving soon. OKIMASU!! (get up)" She continued to shake him.

He finally shoved her and muttered, "Go 'way…"

Jade fell back a bit surprised by his shove, "Noo I can't. You have to wake up… we're leaving soon."

"Eff you…" he muttered.

Jade glared at him not liking his attitude at the moment, "Fine, so I guess you wouldn't mind if I took your scarf off…"

His eyes instantly opened and he glared up at her, "Do it and die."

"Hi to you too Kite!" Jade said with a smile.

His glare vanished as he got up stretching, "Hey Jade…"

"Hm?" she said still pleased that she had managed to get him up.

"Don't tell anyone… about Kite ok?"

Jade looked at him with curiosity, "Why?"

He shook his head, "I just don't want them to know."

She sighed and said, "Ok, but you know I bet Nil already knows."

He looked worried for a minute, "Maybe she does…" He then thought to himself, I_ really need to figure out a way where she couldn't get in my head…_

She shrugged, "She doesn't tell anyone anything, so don't worry. She's good with secrets. Now get up you lazy carcass! We have to go!"

He looked confused, "Where?"

"With the Dog and the gang," she then explained it to him.

He looked at her, "What makes you think I'm coming?"

"Because you like me, and I saved you life so you're indebted to me."

He looked shocked, "Are you saying you're forcing me to stay with you?"

She nodded, "For one month you must stay with me, you are indebted to me!"

He blinked, "When did you decide this?"

"About two minutes ago."

"Ah… ok then I'm stuck with you for a month."

She smiled happily and said, "Come on you gotta try this stuff, it's called chocolate! It's so sweet!"

She dragged him over to Kagome, Jade's now official "Supplier" and got her to give him a bar. He bit into it and a smile spread across his face, "This _is _good…"

Jade nodded happily, "Ya see? I would never lie to you dear Dart-sama, so now even though you are indebted to me you shall be in the luxury of sweet food!"

Dart rolled his eyes and muttered, "Yeah sure whatever…"

They all sat down to have a nice little breakfast, they were polite and didn't fart once… ok that's a lie they were utter slobs… here's how they acted:

"I want more of this stuff…. Scrambled eggs? Is that what's it's called?" Jade chirped up.

"Yeah" Kagome said happily

"No! I want more of it, not you Jade!" Inuyasha snapped.

"Shut up you stupid Dog! I want it! Now don't make me castrate you and mount it on my wall…"

"…What the hell does castration mean?!"

"Oh so you want me to show you? What a dumb dog you are…"

"Now Jade… no castration at the breakfast table, we have to have some poise," Nilkanowen said while eating her food with delicacy and elegance.

"Fine fine… but I _will_ castrate you dog…"

Inuyasha scoffed, "What I don't understand can't hurt me!"

Jade looked at him with a thoughtful look on her face, "If that were true you'd be invincible."

"Are you suggesting I'm stupid?!"

"Yeah I am! You're such a clever boy! Yes you are!" she crooned him while she scratched behind his ear. Inuyasha's leg started to twitch when she did it.

"You… are… so… going… to… die…" he said while his leg kicked, "A little to the left."

Jade obliged happily, "You have pretty hair…" she then stopped.

Inuyasha blinked as if he got out of a trance, "Why the hell did you stop?!"

She shrugged, "Too much of a good thing isn't good for you."

Miroku chimed in his opinion, "I beg to differ, I could never have too much of a woman's love…"

Sango glared at him, "That is to say I enjoy the presence of women… what with…. Her intelligent mind… and…Ok I'll just shut up now…"

"Good choice," Sango said while twitching slightly.

Dart promptly stood up and stretched, "Well I am full. Thank you for the meal Kagome."

Kagome smiled, "It was no trouble."

"So when will we start to get moving?" Sango asked.

"I say right after breakfast,"

Everyone nodded his or her heads in agreement. Jade slapped her head as if she had forgotten something, "Oh my… I haven't packed yet…"

Nilkanowen looked at her with bewilderment "Jade… we don't own anything except maybe one other outfit."

"Weeelll I didn't say it would take me long…"

Nilkanowen just rolled her eyes. Once Jade had finished her incredibly long and ceremonious folding of her kimono. Nilkanowen finally got irritated and snatched the kimono and put it in a bag, "Do you have to be dramatic about everything?"

Jade eyes looked solemn, while she said, "Of course…"

Nilkanowen just shook her head then said "We better get out there with the others…"

"Hey Nil…"

"Hm?"

"Let's be friends."

"What would you call us now?"

"Lesbo lovers?"

Nilkanowen looked at her, "We've never did anything before…"

Jade looked surprised, "Really?"

"No you twit."

"Oh…" Jade looked down while she continued to walk.

"Don't sound so disappointed…"

"I'm not…"

"Yeah you are I can read your mind remember?"

"No,"

Nilkanowen sighed, "I worry about you sometimes you know that?"

"Who doesn't?"

**A/N: ** Eh, this chapter was very eh to me. I kind of just wanted to get them on the road and this was the only way I could really think of doing it. Ha I said "doing it" -=giggles=- **Nil: **You are so perverted… **Jade: **Oh come off it! You were thinking it too! **Nil**: **-_-;; **NO I wasn't… **Dart: **Yeah you were -=laughs too=- **Nil: **-=kills Dart=- **Jade: **-=puts flowers on his grave=- **Dart: **-=comes back to life=- aww you'd put flowers on my grave Jade? **Jade: **But of course! **Dart: **That's sweet! Thanks! **Jade: **No problem! ^_^ **Nil: **I thought I killed you… **Dart: **Ha, you could never get rid of me… **Jade: **Or me! **Nil: **-=Small smile=- I guess that's not such a bad thing… **Jade:** AWWW! NIL HAS A SOUL!! **Dart: **Group hug! **Jade & Dart: **-=hugs Nilkanowen=- **Nil: **AAAH! IT BUUURNS!!! Why dear God why do I open my mouth?!?!! **Jade: **Because deep down you loooove hugs… -notices readers staring at the trio- oh yeah… you guys… well…please review! 3


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